Boy did today ever fly by. Isabella and I picked up Pablo after his MRI this morning at 11. We went straight home and hung out there for a few hours and then went to my parents for Pablo's favourite - my mom's lasagna. Chocolate cake for dessert. Pablo had to be back at the hospital for 6pm for more tests so we had an early dinner. My sister Kim took a bunch of photos of Pablo and I and the kids and I really hope that some will turn out (always hard to take good photos with kids who won't sit still).

The four of us came home and Pablo said his goodbyes to the kids. Apart from getting the phone call about the discovery of  the tumor, that had to have been the hardest 10 minutes of my life. Isabella begged Pablo not to leave because she wanted him to watch Spongebob with her. Simon gave Pablo some eskimo kisses and I fucking lost it. My stomach is so sick I want to throw up.

The next few days are going to be the longest fucking days of my life.

I don't want to lose him.


  1. I'll be thinking of your family and keeping you in my prayers xx

  2. Julia, I have just come back from out of town and have just finished reading up on this. I am so sorry! Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Pablo and the kids in this difficult time. If you need anything, and I mean ANYTHING, please let me know! Everyone is there for you, rooting for you all!

  3. Sabrina - I had Kim email you at work on Friday to tell you the news and I figured you might be out of town. Thank you for being there!

  4. i feel so deeply saddened, for you and your husband. But i can pray my heart out and hope that this all gets some good news soon. Just pray that you will stay calm and carry on being the amazing mom and wife and woman you are.
    Stay strong


  5. Oh sweetie. I wish I could say something that would help. I'm sending healing thoughts and prayers to you and yours.

  6. I'm going to share my strategy in times like these...sort of like these. Not because I think it's better than yours but because It's the only thing I have to offer. ANd it's worked for me.

    When I say times like these I mean like my brother being diagnosed with schizophrenia (which I knew was wrong) and things getting better despite what every doctor told us. From super serious to not so serious but very important like us getting the house we live in now on a short sale when it was a long shot and I was pregnant and this was our last resort before having our daughter in a cramped high rise apartment.

    I visualize the shit out of a situation. Everything I've ever dreamt of in life adn gotten I feel its' because I've visualized having it. We had to wait four months between putting in an offer on our house and then getting it. the entire time I visualized us having Thanksgiving in the dining room. I visualized me prepping the meal in the kitchen.

    When my brother was in a mental institution I visualized him being good again and graduating from college...which he did. I visualize it to the point I can feel it.

    Visualize you and Pablo together at your favorite restaurant on your next anniversary. Visualize the doctor removing everything bad and leaving the good intact. Visualize Pablo walking Isabella down the isle. Visualize it till you can smell his cologne as he passes by you down the isle. Visualize the shit out of it till.....it becomes real.

    I'm obviously thinking about you alot and hoping your family gets through this.

    huge hug!

  7. Thanks sis, Keren, Collette and kk.

    Jen - i love you too and I'm so sorry you caught the damn stomach bug we all had. Thanks to you and Dave for always being there.

    kk - I'm really trying to take a more positive approach to this. I have to. Today is going to be difficult though because Pablo and I have to talk about 'certain things' and it is going to be a really hard talk that I can't believe we have to have.

    I'd really like the sick feeling in my stomach that I've had since 11am Thursday to just go away. That can't be too much to ask?

  8. You seem like such a strong and amazing woman Julia. And your kids are truly hilarious. I do hope this works out for you all. Thinking of you from the other side of the world.....



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